








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1350 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 471 matches | ||
| Esplay | 37 matches | 1,608 | |
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 121 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5425 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,605 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2164 | 12% |
| Smokes | 4571 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7157 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 4713 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,532,117 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | bjoorta | 48% | 300 |
| #14 | General Kalle | 47% | 74 |
| #15 | Hector | 47% | 45 |
| #16 | SnakeEye | 47% | 161 |
| #17 | Nozzral | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bjoorta | 15 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | ZakK | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | SnakeEye | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | MiniMaleN | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | CrowMic | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bjoorta | 813 | 0.13 | 22 min |
| #2 | SnakeEye | 451 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | J1nX | 315 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #4 | CrowMic | 271 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | ZakK | 219 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MiniMaleN | +2.76 | 71 | 65 |
| #2 | CrowMic | +2.56 | 82 | 71 |
| #3 | bjoorta | +1.78 | 52 | 65 |
| #4 | Asgar | +1.63 | 48 | 59 |
| #5 | RobZ | +1.14 | 75 | 64 |





