








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1142 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 430 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4124 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,954 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5920 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4441 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2506 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 4087 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,409,218 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2467 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shrimpfan63501 | 65% | 46 |
| #2 | C0D3M4N | 63% | 118 |
| #3 | HexeN | 60% | 91 |
| #4 | shrimpfan63504 | 57% | 40 |
| #5 | crablicker58 | 57% | 224 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shrimpfan63501 | 65% | 46 |
| #2 | C0D3M4N | 63% | 118 |
| #3 | HexeN | 60% | 91 |
| #4 | shrimpfan63504 | 57% | 40 |
| #5 | crablicker58 | 57% | 224 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crablicker58 | 23 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | C0D3M4N | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | shrimpfan63504 | 5 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | shrimpfan63501 | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | HexeN | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crablicker58 | 458 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | C0D3M4N | 315 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | shrimpfan63501 | 107 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | shrimpfan63504 | 98 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | HexeN | 74 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C0D3M4N | +5.21 | 80 | 75 |
| #2 | shrimpfan63501 | +4.58 | 78 | 73 |
| #3 | shrimpfan63504 | +2.28 | 82 | 57 |
| #4 | crablicker58 | +1.76 | 79 | 64 |
| #5 | stiLLmatic | -1.74 | 67 | 67 |





