








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 769 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 207 matches | ||
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,744 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8041 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5997 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 7882 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3824 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,239,169 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 511 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Das Booty Shorts 2 | 52% | 209 |
| #2 | Daddy Xi Ping | 45% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Das Booty Shorts 2 | 52% | 209 |
| #2 | Daddy Xi Ping | 45% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Das Booty Shorts 2 | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Daddy Xi Ping | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Das Booty Shorts 2 | 349 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #2 | Daddy Xi Ping | 221 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emp- | +1.17 | 52 | 59 |
| #2 | Das Booty Shorts 2 | +1.15 | 67 | 50 |
| #3 | Daddy Xi Ping | +0.92 | 67 | 53 |





