








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 88 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1947 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,519 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1784 | 32% |
| Smokes | 981 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1756 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 998 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $259,962 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cobre | 75% | 36 |
| 71% | 17 | ||
| #3 | brokenAQ | 65% | 69 |
| #4 | DOOG | 63% | 96 |
| 60% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| 71% | 17 | ||
| #3 | brokenAQ | 65% | 69 |
| #4 | DOOG | 63% | 96 |
| 60% | 15 | ||
| #6 | the last bug bender | 59% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the last bug bender | 32 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | DOOG | 25 | 0.0133 |
| #3 | brokenAQ | 19 | 0.0140 |
| #4 | cobre | 13 | 0.0174 |
| 5 | 0.0151 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the last bug bender | 709 | 0.30 | 15 min |
| #2 | DOOG | 334 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | brokenAQ | 208 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | cobre | 97 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| 47 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cobre | +2.86 | 87 | 62 |
| #2 | reflexbeast | +2.64 | 82 | 62 |
| #3 | DOOG | +1.41 | 93 | 58 |
| #4 | the last bug bender | +0.53 | 77 | 46 |
| #5 | brokenAQ | +0.17 | 89 | 52 |





