








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 705 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 334 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3902 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,754 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4537 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4396 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4561 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2260 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,026,679 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 834 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ✪ fleischjunGe | 48% | 31 |
| #10 | -prYbe | 48% | 139 |
| #11 | ELO ANCHOR | 45% | 22 |
| #12 | Hackbrett Schorsch | 44% | 34 |
| #13 | QuieT... | 43% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -prYbe | 12 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Λffᴇ мɪt Waffᴇ | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | ✪ Lame | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | GreenEddy | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | QuieT... | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Lame | 312 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Λffᴇ мɪt Waffᴇ | 234 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | -prYbe | 181 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Hackbrett Schorsch | 91 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | GreenEddy | 86 | 0.09 | 2 min |





