








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
904 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,763 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 246 | 5% |
| Smokes | 1594 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1615 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1308 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $695,888 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AooQ | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | Shnallabass | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | SWE_Boy_FirE | 55% | 38 |
| #4 | ZziskA | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | skRefs | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | grims | 36% | 14 |
| #14 | muppet | 31% | 16 |
| #15 | L⊕kka | 30% | 10 |
| #16 | S1mpleZ | 29% | 21 |
| #17 | aLendo | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laykcer | 13 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | mrjrgen | 11 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | Tallefjant | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Lex superior | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | SWE_Boy_FirE | 3 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tallefjant | 115 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | Lex superior | 92 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | RaKiiS | 83 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | SWE_Boy_FirE | 82 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | muppet | 55 | 0.21 | 1 min |





