








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 396 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 526 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 128 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4442 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,133 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3440 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5429 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5691 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3573 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,782,197 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 650 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AooQ | 55% | 130 |
| #2 | JK JksN | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | RaKiiS | 50% | 206 |
| #4 | Lex superior | 48% | 266 |
| #5 | S1mpleZ | 46% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | mrjrgen | 44% | 286 |
| #9 | aLendo | 43% | 58 |
| #10 | muppet | 42% | 52 |
| #11 | SWE_Boy_FirE | 42% | 50 |
| #12 | Carefaceoo | 42% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laykcer | 79 | 0.0151 |
| #2 | mrjrgen | 56 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | Lex superior | 17 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | AooQ | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | RaKiiS | 4 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lex superior | 524 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | RaKiiS | 274 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | Laykcer | 173 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #4 | aLendo | 134 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | muppet | 118 | 0.12 | 3 min |





