








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 372 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2182 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,248 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1715 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2560 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 1494 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 479 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $789,859 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Cerbera | 40% | 158 |
| #9 | NumseDoc | 40% | 86 |
| #10 | Alucard | 39% | 64 |
| #11 | Romesh Uswathta Liyonage Perera | 35% | 117 |
| #12 | Detektt | 33% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirneh | 14 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Cerbera | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | NumseDoc | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Bob Punjuna | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Unçle K | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cerbera | 301 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | Kirneh | 293 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | Detektt | 278 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #4 | NumseDoc | 194 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | The Magnanimous | 176 | 0.10 | 5 min |





