








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 809 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 154 matches | ||
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Esplay | 21 matches | 1,560 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3928 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3801 | 16% |
| Smokes | 6784 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 8293 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 4844 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,878,191 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michellej02 | 62% | 45 |
| #2 | Andreas Startklar | 56% | 73 |
| #3 | <BLANK> | 56% | 57 |
| #4 | limsu-iwnl- | 53% | 366 |
| #5 | VarnHem | 49% | 249 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | limsu-iwnl- | 31 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Andreas Startklar | 9 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | GYATSTRÖM-iwnl- | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | misth | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | <BLANK> | 6 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VarnHem | 975 | 0.19 | 32 min |
| #2 | limsu-iwnl- | 864 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #3 | Andreas Startklar | 450 | 0.30 | 12 min |
| #4 | GYATSTRÖM-iwnl- | 295 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | misth | 192 | 0.10 | 5 min |





