








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 1,598 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
444 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,915 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 364 | 19% |
| Smokes | 484 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 547 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 520 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $359,075 of utility $278 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | General Kalle | 50% | 8 |
| #8 | MiniMaleN | 50% | 10 |
| #9 | SnakeEye | 50% | 34 |
| #10 | KranG | 49% | 45 |
| #11 | CrowMic | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bjoorta | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Quiet | 2 | 0.0116 |
| #3 | KranG | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | SnakeEye | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | MiniMaleN | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bjoorta | 126 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | SnakeEye | 98 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | KranG | 39 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | ZakK | 36 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | CrowMic | 21 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quiet | +3.21 | 79 | 37 |
| #2 | bjoorta | +2.44 | 50 | 67 |
| #3 | CrowMic | +2.27 | 86 | 69 |
| #4 | xiqtR | +0.47 | 67 | 64 |
| #5 | MiniMaleN | +0.40 | 71 | 65 |





