








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 703 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Esplay | 4 matches | 2,084 | |
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2934 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,526 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3506 | 41% |
| Smokes | 2310 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 931 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 1779 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $211,219 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 318 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eRk | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Masuzz | 59% | 69 |
| #3 | 🧿EJS | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | The Diddler | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | Haraldo | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Masuzz | 59% | 69 |
| #3 | 🧿EJS | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | The Diddler | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | Haraldo | 57% | 14 |
| #6 | akkaopel | 57% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Masuzz | 9 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | 🧿EJS | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | The Diddler | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Masuzz | 145 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | eRk | 132 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | The Diddler | 84 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | 🧿EJS | 59 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Haraldo | 59 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lursha | +3.45 | 88 | 63 |
| #2 | eRk | +2.08 | 79 | 71 |
| #3 | Masuzz | +0.49 | 72 | 48 |
| #4 | akkaopel | +0.22 | 84 | 46 |
| #5 | 🧿EJS | -0.06 | 81 | 59 |





