








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 493 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2359 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,029 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2999 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2555 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2218 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2257 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,072,142 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 256 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ebaytopseller | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | snoMell | 46% | 54 |
| #3 | popo ( ^◡^)っ✂ | 46% | 101 |
| #4 | MAC | 45% | 117 |
| #5 | jannis | 43% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | popo ( ^◡^)っ✂ | 46% | 101 |
| #4 | MAC | 45% | 117 |
| #5 | jannis | 43% | 91 |
| #6 | BIGDADDYCOOL | 41% | 29 |
| #7 | riffy_raffy | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAC | 12 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | jannis | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | snoMell | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | popo ( ^◡^)っ✂ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | BIGDADDYCOOL | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAC | 244 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | popo ( ^◡^)っ✂ | 197 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | jannis | 180 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | ebaytopseller | 132 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | snoMell | 87 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ebaytopseller | +2.37 | 81 | 74 |
| #2 | snoMell | +2.13 | 84 | 61 |
| #3 | jannis | +0.72 | 64 | 53 |
| #4 | BIGDADDYCOOL | +0.57 | 61 | 47 |
| #5 | pete | -0.49 | 39 | 58 |





