








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 669 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3708 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,600 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5007 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5083 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4304 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4206 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,101,490 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 631 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeputyDuck | 71% | 42 |
| #2 | Tsarcastic (handbrokey) | 67% | 67 |
| #3 | abnormality | 66% | 86 |
| #4 | exk0h | 64% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeputyDuck | 71% | 42 |
| #2 | Tsarcastic (handbrokey) | 67% | 67 |
| #3 | abnormality | 66% | 86 |
| #4 | exk0h | 64% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | abnormality | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Tsarcastic (handbrokey) | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | abnormality | 218 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Tsarcastic (handbrokey) | 178 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | DeputyDuck | 101 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | exk0h | 53 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tsarcastic (handbrokey) | +1.74 | 60 | 70 |
| #2 | DeputyDuck | +1.08 | 48 | 51 |
| #3 | abnormality | +0.83 | 52 | 69 |
| #4 | p0gs | +0.50 | 68 | 73 |
| #5 | exk0h | -2.64 | 46 | 60 |





