








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1073 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 809 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 167 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7303 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,483 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6513 | 22% |
| Smokes | 8207 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 8768 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 5995 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,233,780 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 199 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | lang | 48% | 366 |
| #5 | Maxime | 48% | 389 |
| #6 | Couille Gauche | 47% | 468 |
| #7 | Ichigo | 46% | 499 |
| #8 | L3GION_69 | 46% | 522 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L3GION_69 | 25 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Couille Gauche | 19 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | ncR_ | 17 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Ichigo | 15 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Maxime | 13 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ichigo | 1284 | 0.12 | 35 min |
| #2 | Couille Gauche | 834 | 0.08 | 22 min |
| #3 | L3GION_69 | 559 | 0.05 | 14 min |
| #4 | Maxime | 556 | 0.07 | 14 min |
| #5 | ncR_ | 459 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ncR_ | +1.08 | 52 | 69 |
| #2 | Kentucky (Tyler) | +0.53 | 61 | 59 |
| #3 | Couille Gauche | +0.30 | 55 | 66 |
| #4 | GriGri | +0.18 | 63 | 72 |
| #5 | Maxime | -0.37 | 65 | 67 |





