








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 710 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 165 matches | ||
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3505 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,173 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8672 | 37% |
| Smokes | 5860 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3818 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4823 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,083,701 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 506 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goose | 61% | 49 |
| #2 | Raasted | 61% | 67 |
| #3 | Fons | 61% | 64 |
| #4 | Khazardkdk | 60% | 55 |
| #5 | Pil | 57% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Fons | 61% | 64 |
| #4 | Khazardkdk | 60% | 55 |
| #5 | Pil | 57% | 61 |
| #6 | Ceu | 57% | 122 |
| #7 | VuFFeR | 55% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VuFFeR | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Fons | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Ceu | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Pil | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Khazardkdk | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VuFFeR | 938 | 0.34 | 28 min |
| #2 | Ceu | 422 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | Fons | 196 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Raasted | 192 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | Pil | 180 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VuFFeR | +5.56 | 71 | 83 |
| #2 | Pil | +1.54 | 64 | 78 |
| #3 | Goose | +1.17 | 63 | 66 |
| #4 | Fons | +0.35 | 47 | 62 |
| #5 | Pumba | -0.01 | 36 | 69 |





