








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 13 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,160 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 200 | 17% |
| Smokes | 234 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 492 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 234 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $159,279 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cl1ve | 50% | 24 |
| #2 | Brother Beaz | 45% | 22 |
| #3 | OldManGame | 44% | 27 |
| #4 | Bumbaclart | 42% | 31 |
| #5 | jezeer | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Bumbaclart | 42% | 31 |
| #5 | jezeer | 41% | 27 |
| #6 | ziaj | 0% | 3 |
| #7 | Delicate Anthony | 0% | 5 |
| #8 | Special Needs Goose | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cl1ve | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Bumbaclart | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Brother Beaz | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OldManGame | 70 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | Bumbaclart | 69 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Cl1ve | 59 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | jezeer | 32 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Brother Beaz | 25 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Special Needs Goose | +4.00 | 72 | 58 |
| #2 | Cl1ve | +2.21 | 77 | 58 |
| #3 | OldManGame | +0.19 | 53 | 60 |
| #4 | Bumbaclart | -0.25 | 36 | 68 |
| #5 | jezeer | -1.05 | 47 | 58 |





