








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 286 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 178 matches | ||
| Premier | 176 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3006 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,787 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2965 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3841 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4586 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3395 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,271,457 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆SAU3R☆ | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | Stenfeldt | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | Griv | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | Dyno Paps | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | ☂☂🦆zacha🦆☂☂ | 41% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ☂☂🦆zacha🦆☂☂ | 41% | 39 |
| #6 | Hansen | 41% | 32 |
| #7 | St1ds3n | 40% | 84 |
| #8 | FLÆK | 35% | 43 |
| #9 | MissRage<3 | 33% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | St1ds3n | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | ☂☂🦆zacha🦆☂☂ | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | MissRage<3 | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | FLÆK | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Hansen | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | St1ds3n | 164 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | Hansen | 111 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | ☂☂🦆zacha🦆☂☂ | 107 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | FLÆK | 73 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Stenfeldt | 53 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FLÆK | +2.23 | 66 | 63 |
| #2 | Hansen | +1.89 | 62 | 76 |
| #3 | Stenfeldt | +1.19 | 69 | 78 |
| #4 | ☆SAU3R☆ | +1.12 | 56 | 59 |
| #5 | BoldZ3N | +0.29 | 48 | 68 |





