








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 169 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 358 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4718 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,830 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7851 | 38% |
| Smokes | 5582 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5132 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2265 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,049,429 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 261 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaokao9k | 67% | 48 |
| #2 | 크레이지에이션🐳 | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | Cloudツ | 56% | 106 |
| #4 | Big Daddy Norris | 54% | 67 |
| #5 | jdo ت | 52% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | nnikkitine; ♡ | 51% | 116 |
| #8 | nateirl | 50% | 26 |
| #9 | dirty | 47% | 30 |
| #10 | veritas | 42% | 24 |
| #11 | kingpin | 40% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kaokao9k | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | nnikkitine; ♡ | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Big Daddy Norris | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | kingpin | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | jdo ت | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cloudツ | 514 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #2 | jdo ت | 298 | 0.30 | 8 min |
| #3 | nnikkitine; ♡ | 254 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | kingpin | 220 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | kaokao9k | 208 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cloudツ | +3.85 | 78 | 72 |
| #2 | 크레이지에이션🐳 | +2.44 | 66 | 64 |
| #3 | kaokao9k | +2.37 | 72 | 75 |
| #4 | jdo ت | +1.16 | 64 | 77 |
| #5 | juaNNN | +0.32 | 66 | 75 |





