








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 746 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 160 matches | ||
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 131 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3281 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,677 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4436 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3565 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3528 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3148 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $931,846 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 322 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b3nnyF | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | UseliNk | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | Danfozz | 69% | 16 |
| #4 | Pomfritten | 67% | 43 |
| #5 | Felix | 67% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Danish Kalashnikov | 56% | 89 |
| #8 | ralle | 56% | 36 |
| #9 | w0bz | 52% | 21 |
| #10 | OTTE | 51% | 37 |
| #11 | F41N7 | 47% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F41N7 | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | m|Grau | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | OTTE | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | UseliNk | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Danfozz | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Danish Kalashnikov | 306 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | F41N7 | 154 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | UseliNk | 99 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #4 | OTTE | 94 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Felix | 90 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Danfozz | +2.00 | 68 | 57 |
| #2 | ziggish | +1.50 | 71 | 83 |
| #3 | UseliNk | +1.30 | 70 | 80 |
| #4 | b3nnyF | +1.13 | 71 | 60 |
| #5 | Felix | +1.05 | 62 | 68 |





