








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 346 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 167 matches | ||
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 109 matches | ||
| Wingman | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5129 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,341 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6012 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4889 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6165 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4275 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,601,970 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | pat1 | 50% | 328 |
| #5 | ☛︎ imbossing ♛ | 49% | 84 |
| #6 | :: zwacki | 48% | 67 |
| #7 | Stony Mahony ♿ | 45% | 125 |
| #8 | spezisep | 42% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pat1 | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Stony Mahony ♿ | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | spezisep | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | ☛︎ imbossing ♛ | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | :: zwacki | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pat1 | 1873 | 0.31 | 53 min |
| #2 | Stony Mahony ♿ | 402 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | ☛︎ imbossing ♛ | 272 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | DOKUDENNIS | 259 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | HAvN☺☻ | 160 | 0.11 | 4 min |





