








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 276 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1181 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1215 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1312 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 959 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 889 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $250,176 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bensen | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | antreh | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | JaggeR | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | Kuupi | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | caeff | 50% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EmmiTotec | 3 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | caeff | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Kanter | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | JaggeR | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caeff | 133 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Kanter | 63 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Natas | 62 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | antreh | 17 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | JaggeR | 16 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | breZ | +2.29 | 77 | 67 |
| #2 | antreh | +1.19 | 32 | 70 |
| #3 | Kanter | -0.65 | 29 | 78 |
| #4 | Kuupi | -0.98 | 29 | 65 |
| #5 | caeff | -1.56 | 39 | 81 |





