








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1173 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 380 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3357 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,161 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3896 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2131 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 5960 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 3174 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $603,109 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 735 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iGot5 | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | iGot5 #OOFK | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | Osidafunk | 46% | 37 |
| #4 | Malvo | 45% | 47 |
| #5 | emoney[HH] | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | iGot5 #OOFK | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | Osidafunk | 46% | 37 |
| #4 | Malvo | 45% | 47 |
| #5 | emoney[HH] | 44% | 39 |
| #6 | Capt. JE$U$ [ #N1NjA ] | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Osidafunk | 8 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Malvo | 7 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | emoney[HH] | 6 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | iGot5 | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Capt. JE$U$ [ #N1NjA ] | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Malvo | 108 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | emoney[HH] | 95 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Osidafunk | 91 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | iGot5 #OOFK | 81 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | iGot5 | 77 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iGot5 #OOFK | +2.20 | 88 | 58 |
| #2 | Capt. JE$U$ [ #N1NjA ] | +1.72 | 66 | 66 |
| #3 | iGot5 | +1.59 | 81 | 66 |
| #4 | Osidafunk | +1.27 | 61 | 61 |
| #5 | Malvo | +0.72 | 59 | 54 |





