








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,912 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
664 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,175 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 269 | 23% |
| Smokes | 369 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 215 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 322 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $206,857 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fex | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Stizze | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | approves | 50% | 50 |
| #4 | Svackan | 48% | 44 |
| #5 | Marreman | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stizze | 3 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | approves | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Marreman | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | approves | 74 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #2 | Stizze | 58 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Svackan | 45 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Marreman | 21 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | fex | 7 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fex | +4.85 | 86 | 66 |
| #2 | Svackan | +2.36 | 73 | 63 |
| #3 | ninjadanne | +1.94 | 69 | 60 |
| #4 | Stizze | +0.73 | 66 | 71 |
| #5 | approves | -2.87 | 37 | 58 |





