








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 426 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 184 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3293 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,746 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4144 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2347 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3453 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3802 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,194,984 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | ZORKKILLA | 45% | 65 |
| #17 | Gko | 44% | 52 |
| #18 | GnL | 44% | 25 |
| #19 | D2K | 43% | 44 |
| #20 | m2o | 43% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m2o | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | hqGz[wp] | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Dr Gonzo | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | 𝖬𝟦𝖬_ | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | ZORKKILLA | 4 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hqGz[wp] | 677 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #2 | xT | 558 | 0.45 | 13 min |
| #3 | m2o | 307 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | 𝖬𝟦𝖬_ | 256 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #5 | Dr Gonzo | 244 | 0.13 | 6 min |





