








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1359 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,013 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1547 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2176 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1902 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1388 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $279,288 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Melia | 48% | 40 |
| #2 | BuTch | 44% | 79 |
| #3 | Butzemaus | 42% | 38 |
| #4 | Toni Makkaroni | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Melia | 48% | 40 |
| #2 | BuTch | 44% | 79 |
| #3 | Butzemaus | 42% | 38 |
| #4 | Toni Makkaroni | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuTch | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Melia | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Butzemaus | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Toni Makkaroni | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuTch | 201 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Butzemaus | 115 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Melia | 38 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Toni Makkaroni | 22 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuTch | +5.28 | 73 | 72 |
| #2 | Visor | +0.72 | 50 | 65 |
| #3 | Melia | -2.58 | 29 | 49 |
| #4 | Toni Makkaroni | -5.64 | 21 | 31 |
| #5 | Butzemaus | -6.15 | 5 | 55 |





