








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 489 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2282 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,505 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1729 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3032 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2741 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3003 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,295,852 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 233 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✠ JP with his...ツ | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | jacht9r | 49% | 114 |
| #3 | Der müde Joe | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | bast111 | 48% | 82 |
| #5 | ♕$t1FfLaRシ | 42% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bobozius | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | bast111 | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | jacht9r | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Nilleexx | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | ♕$t1FfLaRシ | 1 | 0.0010 |





