










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 218 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1795 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,919 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1771 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1768 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1172 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1208 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $489,870 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YerpS | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | hurikaNe | 66% | 38 |
| #3 | ak-nY- | 62% | 65 |
| #4 | Crawfish | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | Soho | 56% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ak-nY- | 11 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | The Ripper | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | dopeysparks | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ak-nY- | 349 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #2 | The Ripper | 261 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | hurikaNe | 148 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | 4sh0t | 134 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | sasquatcH | 132 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crawfish | +3.11 | 82 | 70 |
| #2 | hurikaNe | +2.24 | 90 | 73 |
| #3 | 4sh0t | +1.99 | 76 | 64 |
| #4 | ak-nY- | +1.78 | 73 | 78 |
| #5 | dopeysparks | +1.53 | 89 | 63 |





