








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 515 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Wingman | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2460 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,430 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 363 | 8% |
| Smokes | 1867 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 1359 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 841 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $840,006 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 950 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 💚Mr. Ⓖreen💚 | 53% | 40 |
| #2 | Dirt Man | 52% | 44 |
| #3 | Pissterine | 32% | 65 |
| #4 | Mystic | 27% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 💚Mr. Ⓖreen💚 | 53% | 40 |
| #2 | Dirt Man | 52% | 44 |
| #3 | Pissterine | 32% | 65 |
| #4 | Mystic | 27% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dirt Man | 6 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Mystic | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Pissterine | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dirt Man | 165 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | 💚Mr. Ⓖreen💚 | 83 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Mystic | 78 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Pissterine | 11 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 💚Mr. Ⓖreen💚 | +4.10 | 42 | 44 |
| #2 | Dirt Man | +0.69 | 24 | 47 |
| #3 | Mystic | +0.47 | 43 | 29 |
| #4 | Pissterine | +0.29 | 19 | 25 |
| #5 | Ξxponent1al | -3.05 | 6 | 27 |





