








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2124 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,905 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1182 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1364 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2412 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1947 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $789,937 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BANE | 74% | 27 |
| #2 | KIM JONG POON | 68% | 19 |
| #3 | stz | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | ODoyle8D | 59% | 85 |
| #5 | nODe | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | litem | 55% | 44 |
| #7 | Cherry | 53% | 79 |
| #8 | eMarr | 52% | 23 |
| #9 | ryan | 52% | 56 |
| #10 | Toastador | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cherry | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | litem | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | KIM JONG POON | 2 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | ODoyle8D | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | BANE | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ODoyle8D | 370 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #2 | Cherry | 282 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | ryan | 80 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | litem | 78 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | nODe | 68 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ODoyle8D | +3.21 | 76 | 83 |
| #2 | ryan | +1.95 | 70 | 59 |
| #3 | BANE | +0.66 | 62 | 47 |
| #4 | litem | +0.10 | 61 | 57 |
| #5 | Cherry | -0.09 | 74 | 50 |





