








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 621 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 238 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3519 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,071 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4567 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3815 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3421 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3268 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $921,270 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1312 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | Khanilan | 66% | 29 |
| #3 | V-piz | 64% | 47 |
| #4 | ninomstr | 59% | 34 |
| #5 | ¿Que Pasa, Amigo? | 58% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BjöRN6 | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Khanilan | 4 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | BOJOINGLÄSKI | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | V-piz | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | ninomstr | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BjöRN6 | 870 | 0.27 | 25 min |
| #2 | ninomstr | 196 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #3 | BOJOINGLÄSKI | 156 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #4 | Saaresi | 130 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | Khanilan | 127 | 0.20 | 4 min |





