








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 914 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 659 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6657 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,190 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6501 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5875 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6214 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6600 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,968,628 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 249 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L o r d K o w s k i | 53% | 40 |
| #2 | Giz | 53% | 40 |
| #3 | Lauer | 51% | 74 |
| #4 | AMP_DK | 49% | 39 |
| #5 | jungfc | 46% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L o r d K o w s k i | 53% | 40 |
| #2 | Giz | 53% | 40 |
| #3 | Lauer | 51% | 74 |
| #4 | AMP_DK | 49% | 39 |
| #5 | jungfc | 46% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giz | 12 | 0.0137 |
| #2 | Lauer | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | jungfc | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giz | 113 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | AMP_DK | 95 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Lauer | 80 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | jungfc | 39 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | L o r d K o w s k i | 16 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giz | +1.65 | 58 | 55 |
| #2 | L o r d K o w s k i | -0.52 | 48 | 48 |
| #3 | Funky | -0.56 | 48 | 62 |
| #4 | Lauer | -0.90 | 27 | 52 |
| #5 | jungfc | -1.68 | 63 | 50 |





