








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 714 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 232 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2315 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,171 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1625 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2461 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1661 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2424 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $681,628 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 164 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | JonesSupreme | 43% | 21 |
| #7 | j4xd | 43% | 47 |
| #8 | cylon [A] | 39% | 41 |
| #9 | keh|33T^ | 38% | 16 |
| #10 | Kling.- | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iceMouze ツ | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Hollbaum | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | cylon [A] | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | JonesSupreme | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | raller | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cylon [A] | 91 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Kling.- | 78 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | j4xd | 77 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Hollbaum | 65 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | keh|33T^ | 62 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j4xd | +2.29 | 73 | 68 |
| #2 | JonesSupreme | +1.15 | 52 | 55 |
| #3 | MinkereN | +1.08 | 58 | 56 |
| #4 | iceMouze ツ | +0.90 | 46 | 53 |
| #5 | Hollbaum | +0.30 | 36 | 51 |





