










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1984 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 643 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 138 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8872 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,995 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8592 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6689 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8010 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4704 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,038,914 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1557 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | cylon [A] | 47% | 232 |
| #6 | Another Prophet | 46% | 122 |
| #7 | keh|33T^ | 45% | 321 |
| #8 | MinkereN | 43% | 47 |
| #9 | Fartøjet | 41% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kling.- | 21 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | keh|33T^ | 15 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | cylon [A] | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | !bono | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Another Prophet | 3 | 0.0012 |





