








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 516 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 335 matches | ||
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4849 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,549 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1618 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1673 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3542 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 2716 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,332,642 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | poobear | 35% | 54 |
| #17 | ^らn☆fu WWG1WGA | 35% | 55 |
| #18 | Bane | 34% | 65 |
| #19 | Stevey | 31% | 29 |
| #20 | Slipper | 28% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JamesIOM | 17 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | GreenGoblin | 14 | 0.0170 |
| #3 | poobear | 11 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | Mick | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | GaZ | 5 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^らn☆fu WWG1WGA | 368 | 0.32 | 10 min |
| #2 | Mick | 340 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | Mattmo_0 | 263 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | GaZ | 259 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #5 | Ivor Big Gun | 259 | 0.23 | 7 min |





