








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
978 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,347 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1434 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1383 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1295 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1235 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $413,907 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baz | 50% | 16 |
| #2 | AuXl | 50% | 46 |
| #3 | H1_kk | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | zikest | 45% | 44 |
| #5 | ranz | 45% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ranz | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Dorfschmied | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | domdom | 2 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | baz | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AuXl | 235 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #2 | zikest | 216 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #3 | ranz | 183 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | H1_kk | 130 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | Dorfschmied | 93 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _XiLe | +2.86 | 71 | 55 |
| #2 | AuXl | +2.56 | 79 | 73 |
| #3 | zikest | +1.13 | 77 | 72 |
| #4 | Dorfschmied | +0.79 | 57 | 60 |
| #5 | ranz | +0.40 | 64 | 63 |





