








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 259 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Renown | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2316 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,054 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2785 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3019 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1625 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2625 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $254,940 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bye for now | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Enigma | 62% | 37 |
| #3 | SUPERSTARRR! | 61% | 23 |
| #4 | BoB | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | CARNAGE AK47 | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SUPERSTARRR! | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Bye for now | 3 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Enigma | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | CARNAGE AK47 | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | One Eye DooMeh | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CARNAGE AK47 | 130 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | SUPERSTARRR! | 82 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Bye for now | 52 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Pr0ject | 40 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | BoB | 36 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BoB | +1.53 | 79 | 81 |
| #2 | Switchr | +1.24 | 70 | 74 |
| #3 | CARNAGE AK47 | +0.87 | 75 | 65 |
| #4 | Pr0ject | +0.54 | 90 | 69 |
| #5 | Enigma | +0.31 | 61 | 55 |





