








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 151 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1634 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,906 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2305 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2156 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1815 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1630 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $308,623 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 228 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JULIO | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | Matsuki | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Madderose | 58% | 43 |
| #4 | Brioche | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | passive awper | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Matsuki | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Madderose | 58% | 43 |
| #4 | Brioche | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | passive awper | 56% | 9 |
| #6 | Hash | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JULIO | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Matsuki | 2 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | Brioche | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JULIO | 183 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #2 | Madderose | 132 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Matsuki | 83 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #4 | passive awper | 57 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #5 | Brioche | 52 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matsuki | +2.84 | 82 | 73 |
| #2 | passive awper | +1.98 | 92 | 63 |
| #3 | Nobody | +1.49 | 81 | 69 |
| #4 | JULIO | +1.34 | 77 | 63 |
| #5 | Brioche | +1.12 | 80 | 68 |





