








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1231 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,744 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 497 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1343 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 749 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1155 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $660,717 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ㄒoma卄awk Vandalize | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | MesaFlake | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | TaikaViitta<3 | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Deathie | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | sikakraa | 57% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RomB | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | sikakraa | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | jhattara | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | MesaFlake | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Fatty_Clown | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weaselface | 205 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | sikakraa | 159 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | RomB | 139 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | MesaFlake | 51 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Fatty_Clown | 32 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woogleboo | +2.72 | 66 | 70 |
| #2 | TaikaViitta<3 | +1.76 | 62 | 60 |
| #3 | ㄒoma卄awk Vandalize | +1.67 | 52 | 82 |
| #4 | Deathie | +1.15 | 48 | 74 |
| #5 | rallikirahvi | +0.99 | 45 | 58 |





