








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
930 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,292 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 168 | 7% |
| Smokes | 760 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 849 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 515 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $281,164 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Urmel | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | eumel | 55% | 49 |
| #3 | vvursT | 51% | 59 |
| #4 | overflood | 51% | 67 |
| #5 | Michael Jackson | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vvursT | 176 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | overflood | 100 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | eumel | 44 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Luna | 34 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Strohhutruffy | 32 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michael Jackson | +4.10 | 80 | 37 |
| #2 | Strohhutruffy | +3.51 | 52 | 70 |
| #3 | UH|BluEskY | +2.59 | 82 | 57 |
| #4 | overflood | +1.86 | 64 | 47 |
| #5 | Urmel | +1.49 | 54 | 64 |





