








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
945 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,405 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 387 | 16% |
| Smokes | 830 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 744 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 444 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $318,535 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | UH|BluEskY | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | tarnschaf | 55% | 49 |
| #5 | overflood | 55% | 73 |
| #6 | vvursT | 49% | 71 |
| #7 | Strohhutruffy | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | overflood | 4 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vvursT | 238 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | overflood | 111 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Strohhutruffy | 28 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #4 | tarnschaf | 11 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | Luna | 11 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UH|BluEskY | +2.68 | 83 | 66 |
| #2 | Strohhutruffy | +1.22 | 46 | 67 |
| #3 | eumel | +0.94 | 64 | 56 |
| #4 | overflood | +0.64 | 60 | 45 |
| #5 | vvursT | -0.37 | 41 | 78 |





