








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
198 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 835 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 118 | 14% |
| Smokes | 86 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 404 | 48% |
| Molotovs | 227 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $121,763 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Funky_chicken | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | HezT | 38% | 34 |
| #3 | Pleb | 33% | 12 |
| #4 | HenrikH | 0% | 3 |
| #5 | ClausElming | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HezT | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Funky_chicken | 1 | 0.0118 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HezT | 22 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #2 | Funky_chicken | 16 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #3 | Pleb | 14 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Rusbjerg | 10 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | ClausElming | 1 | 0.02 | 0 min |





