








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1715 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,642 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1438 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1360 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1139 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 705 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $437,809 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jitz | 59% | 37 |
| #2 | Invekt | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | forehead | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | vst4free.com | 54% | 69 |
| #5 | HOCK | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jitz | 5 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | lisan al gaib | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | forehead | 4 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | Invekt | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | HOCK | 3 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vst4free.com | 139 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | 5N0 | 126 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jitz | 91 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | lisan al gaib | 82 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | HOCK | 65 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5N0 | +3.54 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | awa | +1.89 | 84 | 46 |
| #3 | forehead | +1.71 | 77 | 55 |
| #4 | ChampChong | +0.61 | 75 | 56 |
| #5 | SORN | +0.16 | 73 | 48 |





