








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 337 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2575 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,027 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1504 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1979 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2161 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2383 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,232,981 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prolle | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Epzol?! | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | Ardy | 57% | 58 |
| #4 | mk¡Q | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | ETMA | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | mk¡Q | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | ETMA | 50% | 18 |
| #6 | bueno | 47% | 19 |
| #7 | Ptx | 47% | 17 |
| #8 | Snuf | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ardy | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | mk¡Q | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Prolle | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Ptx | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mk¡Q | 182 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #2 | Ardy | 81 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Prolle | 74 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | Epzol?! | 68 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | ETMA | 31 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mk¡Q | +1.75 | 92 | 80 |
| #2 | Prolle | +1.41 | 80 | 78 |
| #3 | bueno | +0.59 | 70 | 54 |
| #4 | Snuf | +0.50 | 58 | 83 |
| #5 | Epzol?! | +0.17 | 49 | 59 |





