








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 127 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1819 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,905 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1956 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2570 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2618 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1761 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $844,995 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | evidence404 | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | der Hesse | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | ak3d4.gaming | 56% | 52 |
| #4 | xelli | 55% | 121 |
| #5 | goddi | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xelli | 179 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | ak3d4.gaming | 66 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Steve McDeag | 47 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | LaSche! | 42 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | PenGu!n|Bilt!s | 32 | 0.05 | 1 min |





