








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 251 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 480 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4174 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,831 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2009 | 16% |
| Smokes | 4168 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4272 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2382 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,880,460 of utility $251 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boegh | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | Lord Beerus | 52% | 69 |
| #3 | headless | 51% | 53 |
| #4 | **DeViL** | 49% | 78 |
| #5 | Toftdahl | 48% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | TSJ | 46% | 69 |
| #9 | Wet | 45% | 73 |
| #10 | 0bie1 | 43% | 54 |
| #11 | Bubbi | 42% | 38 |
| #12 | xXLæderLarsXx | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZaAMb1T | 8 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | TSJ | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | headless | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | **DeViL** | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | 0bie1 | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toftdahl | 140 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | TSJ | 132 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Bubbi | 99 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | **DeViL** | 85 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | ZaAMb1T | 85 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | headless | +2.95 | 51 | 66 |
| #2 | Toftdahl | +1.26 | 50 | 69 |
| #3 | Boegh | +0.51 | 42 | 70 |
| #4 | TSJ | +0.38 | 30 | 64 |
| #5 | Lord Beerus | +0.37 | 41 | 44 |





