








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 87 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 117 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2920 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,538 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3356 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3027 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1813 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2342 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $343,318 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EAZY | 70% | 61 |
| #2 | BENNy | 69% | 48 |
| #3 | dem0 | 69% | 80 |
| #4 | WEETL | 68% | 57 |
| #5 | NiToManato | 67% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Mysil | 64% | 22 |
| #10 | XXX | 62% | 73 |
| #11 | fREAKNiK | 58% | 53 |
| #12 | Puushu | 55% | 20 |
| #13 | SolaN | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XXX | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | BENNy | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | MnH | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | WEETL | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | fREAKNiK | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nasse | 308 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | dem0 | 287 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | BENNy | 232 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #4 | WEETL | 164 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | MnH | 162 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kSwitch | +1.90 | 74 | 68 |
| #2 | dem0 | +1.57 | 82 | 68 |
| #3 | nilson | +1.55 | 85 | 63 |
| #4 | fREAKNiK | +1.23 | 91 | 48 |
| #5 | nasse | +1.12 | 78 | 75 |





