








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 239 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1506 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,889 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 560 | 19% |
| Smokes | 655 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1128 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 546 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $968,136 of utility $270 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Greenex | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | JoeLegend | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | -1h | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | Player 1 | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | r4nd0m_dude | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | spt_the_lucker | 50% | 26 |
| #7 | spt_the_server | 49% | 65 |
| #8 | DirRrrTy_ | 49% | 100 |
| #9 | yoshi_deLowbob | 36% | 11 |
| #10 | NeRoX™ | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DirRrrTy_ | 11 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Greenex | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | -1h | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Player 1 | 2 | 0.0086 |
| #5 | spt_the_server | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DirRrrTy_ | 315 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | spt_the_server | 67 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | JoeLegend | 45 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | -1h | 39 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Greenex | 37 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spt_the_server | +2.05 | 42 | 68 |
| #2 | Player 1 | +1.66 | 72 | 72 |
| #3 | -1h | +1.55 | 76 | 66 |
| #4 | DirRrrTy_ | +1.19 | 64 | 80 |
| #5 | JoeLegend | +0.28 | 54 | 68 |





