








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 617 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 398 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 107 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3966 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,744 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3659 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4970 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5261 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4854 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,638,402 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1894 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Adrial] | 54% | 72 |
| #2 | TcM | 50% | 98 |
| #3 | typedef | 48% | 129 |
| #4 | Johnnys Senap | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | GÖBBS | 47% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YolkFace | 847 | 0.15 | 25 min |
| #2 | dröm | 610 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #3 | typedef | 426 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | Endo | 389 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #5 | [Adrial] | 370 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Adrial] | +3.62 | 70 | 63 |
| #2 | Endo | +2.56 | 70 | 71 |
| #3 | TcM | +1.20 | 44 | 56 |
| #4 | YolkFace | +0.63 | 67 | 75 |
| #5 | TSAR BOMBA | +0.38 | 62 | 69 |





