








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 644 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 403 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Wingman | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4711 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,477 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3590 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3617 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6177 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 3093 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,582,492 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 509 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Mrs Raclette | 47% | 36 |
| #8 | Zyklon | 47% | 195 |
| #9 | MaC | 44% | 274 |
| #10 | nobody | 35% | 51 |
| #11 | bck | 28% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bck | 6 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | D3R_B3H1ND3R7M4CH3R | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Zyklon | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | MaC | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Stedi | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaC | 366 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #2 | D3R_B3H1ND3R7M4CH3R | 362 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Stedi | 211 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Zyklon | 163 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Kleinerwaldkauz | 161 | 0.10 | 4 min |





