








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1572 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 582 matches | ||
| Premier | 194 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 203 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8765 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 56,249 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14043 | 25% |
| Smokes | 15114 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 12641 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 14451 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,627,394 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 363 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimmad | 59% | 75 |
| #2 | Munch | 50% | 105 |
| #3 | Nb` | 49% | 183 |
| #4 | krin | 48% | 73 |
| #5 | Anima | 47% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Munch | 50% | 105 |
| #3 | Nb` | 49% | 183 |
| #4 | krin | 48% | 73 |
| #5 | Anima | 47% | 70 |
| #6 | DeLox3 | 35% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nb` | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Jimmad | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Anima | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Munch | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | krin | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nb` | 480 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | Jimmad | 216 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | DeLox3 | 119 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | krin | 87 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Munch | 83 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | krin | +0.06 | 73 | 54 |
| #2 | Tazzle | +0.05 | 75 | 78 |
| #3 | DeLox3 | -0.29 | 67 | 56 |
| #4 | Nb` | -0.29 | 70 | 66 |
| #5 | Munch | -0.32 | 92 | 49 |





